Thursday, August 20, 2015

Fear and Loathing at TARGET

We were somewhere around the bar stools on the edge of the Home aisle when my Claritin began to wear off. I remember saying something like "I feel an allergy attack coming on; maybe you should push the cart," ...and suddenly there was a terrible sneeze all around us and the fluorescent light was full of what looked like huge Soccer moms, all swooping and screeching and diving around the shopping cart, which was going about a hundred miles an hour with the baby seat down to the pharmacy. And a voice was screaming Ah-ah-ah-choo! Who are all these dadburn rednecks? ... We had two bags of Romaine lettuce, seventy-five pellets of RID-X, five sets of sheets with a very high thread count, a convenient travel-size shaker of Rogaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored Graphic Tees, Casual Pants, flip-flops, handbags and accessories... and also a quart of Ben & Jerry's, a quart of International Delight Hazelnut Creamer, a case of Activia, a pint of Target brand Egg Nogg and two dozen eggs. Not that we needed all that for the weekend, but once you get locked into a serious grocery collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can.

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