Don't Hold the Mayo!

(sing to the tune of Hank Williams' "Jambalaya")

Mayonnaise my tongue ballets in a lemon Speedo.
On Grilled Cheese, makes my knees dip like a Yo-Yo.
Potatoes, even Sushi Rolls, seem like a porno.
Buy it by the tons, slap it on my buns, don't hold the Mayo! 

Chorus:

Mayonnaise my new catchphrase. Did you get the memo?
Cures malaise, spreads lengthways, lassos your sorrow.
I hear more "Yeas," than I hear "Nays," bang it on a bongo.
Buy it by the tons, slap it on my buns, don't hold the Mayo!

(INSTRUMENTAL VERSE - whisk and spatula drum solo)

Greta Garbo shared guacamol' with baby Brando.
In a daze it put Macy Gray's pal Dana Plato.
It's so white, but that's all right, like my Ford Bronco.
Buy it by the tons, slap it on my buns, don't hold the Mayo! (Chorus)