Dangerous Monkeys Swing Backwards

(Schoolhouse Rock Parody – sung by Tom Waits)

I awoke on a bus in the rain,

from the cough and the cuss of a train. 

Heard a haggard homeward teacher

croon this non-sanguine refrain:

What's two fingers of a fifth of bourbon,

for three monkeys who threaten incursion?

Let's meet at the Division Bar and choose,

which monkey divides the booze.

Don't teach me how to think,

just buy me another drink.

The Dividend's got the dough.

Divisors move adagio.

If the Quotient is the answer,

then common core's the cancer.

Dangerous Monkeys Swing Backwards,

in the jungles of Hollywood and Vine.

Dangerous Monkeys Swing Backwards,

in our uncommon core divide.

D'danger dares divide.

M'monkeys multiplied.

Equation S'swings subtraction.

B'bringin' down n-numbers for a fraction.

In the graveyard of spirituality, 

an equation is a minor equality.

These very unmerry unvariables,

wax poetic unperishable parables.

Dangerous Monkeys Swing Backwards,

in the jungles of Hollywood and Vine.

Dangerous Monkeys Swing Backwards,

in our uncommon core divide.

Don't teach me how to think,

just buy me another drink.

The Dividend's got the dough.

Divisors move adagio.

If the Quotient is the answer,

then common core's the cancer.

OK, let's look at the problem.

A fifth of bourbon, let's call that 5.

That's the Quotient.

Then there are 3 dangerous monkeys.

They are the divisors.

1 x 3 = 3

Subtract the 3 from the 5 = you get two.

Two fingers, two fingers.

Bring down the number.

Repeat as needed.

Watch your place column.

I don't understand, I don't understand.

Leave me alone. Leave me alone.

There was a shooting at the school,

with a two dollar pistol.

The principal is the suspect.

Don't teach me how to drink,

just think me another think.

Indubitably.